I really hope you’ve all been awesome and living your best lives!

I got in not too long ago from dinner with one of my good friends who is home for a visit from Japan — she and her family moved there 2 years ago on a work assignment, and I haven’t been able to see her since she was home last year. (If you’ve been following my blog for a while, I blogged about my visit to Japan in 2017 — to read that post, click HERE).

But I didn’t hop on here to talk about my catch-up with Linda (although it was great and definitely not long enough).

I’m here to talk about choosing to powerfully be single and still feeling lonely sometimes.

Why now?

Because I got home to my empty condo, poured myself a glass of Pinot Grigio, sat down on the terrace, and thought:

hmmmm… it would be nice to have someone here to ask how dinner was.
Someone to share this glass of wine with.
Someone to proofread my blogs.

And there it was.

That quiet sting.

Because even though I’ve chosen to be unattached, it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it sometimes —
the loneliness…
the wanting…
the desire for someone to have dinner with, to sit on the terrace with, to hug me hard and kiss my forehead goodnight.

And here’s what I realized:

I can choose this life powerfully and still feel the sting sometimes.

And that’s okay.

Why Am I Choosing to Be Powerfully Single?

I get that question a lot.

Choosing to be “powerfully” single means this:

I choose — fully and intentionally — not to be attached to anyone.

Not by default.
Not by circumstance.
Not because “that’s just how it is.”

But because it’s my choice.

It means I’m fully present to what matters to me.
Fully self-expressed.
Fully aligned.

I don’t just choose to be single —
I choose it on my terms.

With integrity.
With clarity.
With authenticity.

That’s the difference.

Decision vs. Choice (This Matters More Than You Think)

They are not the same.

Decision is driven by circumstance.
It closes options.

Choice is created.
It’s open. Intentional. Free.

When you become aware of how you’re thinking, feeling, and acting, you can see where you’re operating from.

And once you see it…
You get to choose.

It’s my responsibility to look at my life and distinguish what’s working and what isn’t.

And from there?

I choose who I want to be.

Simple.

I make sure that I choose powerfully.

I am cause in the matter of my life.

Why Do I Choose To Be Single?

Simple answer:

I’m a lobster.

(If you don’t get the Friends reference, it’s the person you’re meant to be with forever. Apparently, lobsters mate for life… according to Phoebe.)

Honest answer:

I won’t settle.

I know what I bring.
I know what matters to me.

I’m not looking for a fairy tale.
Not a knight in shining armour.
Not someone to rescue me.
Not someone to check boxes.

I’m looking for:

• chemistry
• respect
• adventure
• faithfulness

And I know he’s out there.

I’ll meet him when the time is right — when the Universe lines it all up.

Until then?

I live a BIG life.

I go out.
I have fun.
I choose intentionally not to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone.

That’s easy.

And it’s not who I am.
Never has been.
Never will be.

Some women look at me with pity, and I say (nicely):

“Hunney, I’m all good. I don’t feel sorry for me and you don’t need to either. Go worry about climate change, animal abuse, or human trafficking.”

I’m not here to tell you to ditch your relationships and join me.

But I will say this:

Whether you choose to be in a relationship — or not —

choose POWERFULLY.